Muthi Ammamma

My earliest memories are at the age of two and a half, I don’t know if it is really a memory or images made up after listening to the old stories told to me again and again by appan. Anyway this memory I have is about standing at my great grand mother’s deathbed and offering her water, which she drinks. The story told to me about this more elaborate, but I have no recollection of all that at all.
My great grand mother (Appan’s father’s mother) whom we called Muthi ammamma was dying and her family was standing around her. As per our custom each family member was offering her water but being a very stubborn lady she refused to take water from any of them, convinced that it was poisoned. Then I asked her if she wanted me to give her water and she smiled, drank the water I offered and passed away peacefully.
Muthi Ammamma was a typical woman of her times. Her belief systems were strong and her character even stronger. The mother of three children – two sons and a daughter, she loved them unquestioningly but when my grandfather got married she turned into the proverbial ammai amma, the dreaded mother in law.
At dinner time men eat first and then the ladies, as is the custom. Taking advantage of this she would serve the men dinner and when they finish and leave, she tells her daughter in law, ”Oh my dear what will we do now, the pot is empty, the rice is over. We have to go to bed athazhapattinni (on an empty stomach).”
The daughter in law can do nothing about this other than say, “That is okay. Don’t worry.”
Then the masterpiece, “Don’t tell this to the men, they will get angry.”
Again a dutiful daughter in law agrees to keep the secret.
But then in the night, once everyone is asleep Muthi ammamma would sneak off to finish the rice she had hidden away secretly from the daughter in law.
The daughter in law, my ammamma hears the noise in the kitchen and ignores it.
This keeps happening again and again for the next few days till the husband my appappan realizes something is wrong. Much coaxing later ammamma tells him what has been going on, and he solves the problem using a simple trick. Everyday when he is served dinner, he asks for more rice than he could possibly eat and then just eats part it leaving one half of his food untouched. Then when he gets up, Muthi Ammamma would want to know why he did not finish his food.
“I am full. Let her finish it, don’t throw it away.”
Muthi ammamma is stuck, she hates wasting food and she absolutely hates eating left over food. The only solution was to let ammamma eat it.Appappan kept leaving food in his plate till his death, many many years after ammamma had died.